NO THIS CAN NOT BE FOR REAL
I babysit for a girl who used to think her mom’s name was “my love” because her dad said it so often to her.
Anonymous said: how old were you when you were born?
I wasn’t born, I was planted in a pot o.o
STORY IDEA: YOUR DOOR BELL RINGS AND ITS A PERSON FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE “I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY FAVORITE BOOK CHARACTER AND I KNOW HOW IT ENDS AND I WANNA CHANGE IT”
WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME
plot twist: the person who rings the doorbell is your favorite book character
okay, HOLD THE FUCK UP. Do you see this shit? This is isn’t some lame-ass “choco brownie” snack cake. This is a goddamn COSMIC BROWNIE. Bitch, you eat this thing and the entire universe EXPLODES behinds your EYELIDS. This shit is so good, it’s named after the entire goddamn COSMOS. If you opened your lunch bag and saw this tucked in, bitch don’t deny the fact that you’d squeal like a little girl. Bring that shit to school, and everyone is your best friend.
(Even that creepy-ass kid who mixes Jello with his orange juice.)
tumblr needs to write advertisements
just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet cant even name three noble truths of buddhism
In high school ya gotta learn that if you’re late you might as well be hella late and go have some breakfast or some shit